My apologies for the late write-up - in my defence I have only recently plugged my computer in after some months - Like so many people in this day of electronic everything I seem to have lost the ability to write without one.
Meeting up on the Friday at the Esso garage were Andy and Lee Adie, Tom and Gwen, Dave Clarke, Lee and Tracy, Colin and Maggs, our Antipodean Satellite member Lizzie, Ian and Julie (Ian for this trip being the Organiser and Pathfinder - absolute guarantee for a missed turning or two). Only one minor incident at the petrol station in Dover, Tom and Gwen's outfit developed a petrol leak. After much debate and crouched deliberation it was found to be not a leak but an overfill - Tom had decided to go for the to-the-brim approach on refuelling. Off to the ferry, a couple of beers, back on the bikes and away to El Paso.
Following the others, my normal approach, the ride only being held up by the odd stop to consult maps we arrived at the rally. On booking in everyone was issued with a cowboy hat, the customary bag of rally stuff and directed to the camping area. I made my way to the designated place, turned left down the little slope and straight into a sand bowl, this year's camping being in a paddock apparently normally used for exercising horses. Great if you are on a Moto-Crosser but on a 1200 Trophy not so good.
Ploughing my way through the paddock trying to keep it straight was concerning and even better when I got off. Side stand down I dismount to find the bike following me as it promptly sunk, luckily Jan had seen my predicament and hurried across with a puck which ended up being wholly insufficient needing to be supported with a large lump of wood. SORTED. Having erected our canvas houses albeit surrounded with horse dung, it was time to explore the site, which is just another way of saying, "find the bar", and get a bite to eat.
The town boasted everything from a Jail and Courthouse to a Saloon and Barbers shop with loads of Cowboys and Indians wandering about, though I must admit that Clint Eastwood and Cochise with a Belgian accent didn't quite cut it for me. It was not long before Dave and Steve (will someone please get him the song sheet for "Whiskey-in-the-Jar-O") arrived in the bar with the Eltham contingent thus for the Belgians beer sales were assured, and the loudest Dutch man in the World turned up - Onno. The Bin Linehams got there a short while later, after apparently a fast ride, thus obviously Gary had left the Trident at home. That evening we were entertained to a disco that to my recollection only had one Rolling Stones and one Status Quo album, the evening passing by in a flood of amber liquid with my good self falling asleep perched on a stool. I do believe at this point the opportunity was taken to dress me for a photo opportunity.
Saturday saw us as a group deciding against the organised run-out (last year the route chosen had tried it's best to shake our bikes to pieces) and take a trip into Antwerp for a look and a bite to eat. With assistance my bike was extracted from the sand and pointed in the right direction, no way could I drag it out on my own, over night it had dug in to the depth of the tyres. It took a while to get there as all routes seemed to have road works though after a tad of confusion we arrived and found a place to eat.
After a much needed meal (unusually the food on site was damned awful) we all turned back to the rally. In my wisdom I rode along chatting to "I know the way" Gary (it's always his fault and we did take the wrong route), the result of which being that somehow Dave Clarke, Lizzie and to my horror Jan went missing after having to stop for a red light. Going back I tried the route taken but they were no-where to be found, thus joining the others we all go back to the site. On arrival we spotted Dave and Lizzie but no Jan, they had stopped for petrol with Jan deciding to carry on back to the site. Picking up my mobile I give her a call to find that Jan's phone was in the tent as well, panic started to set in. When it comes to riding Jan is as good as anyone but I also happen to know that a homing pigeon SHE IS NOT. It was at this point I realised that I had all the money on me and my good lady was very low on juice. Lizzie came to the rescue by refusing to come back until she found Jan and after a little while (seemed like ages) gave us a call to say they were both on their way back. My relief at this point turning to abject terror, when it was mentioned with glee, "Kev you are in so much trouble" (cheers Andy).
This was obviously the case when a purple Adventurer turned onto the site, pipes roaring, being ridden by what looked like the "One Rider of the Apocalypse". The group at this point disappeared with alacrity, the consensus being: keep your head down. Amazingly on looking around the entire Bexley TOMCC had managed to camouflage itself as sand or thin trees. My dressing down took epic proportions; apparently not only did I conspire in an evil plot to get Jan lost and stranded by not riding with her but I haven't got a Dad, effluent passes through me, I am known to play with myself and have the appearance of a lady's nether regions to boot. Considering my options and realising that any sort of forgiveness was at least three weeks hence, it was off to the bar. No words I could muster up would be good enough as my better half was now on a roll.
Further entertainment took the form of a mock hanging in the square with various guns being discharged and a band to follow. During the evening all rally-goers were called in for the presentations with the Bexley TOMCC receiving Best Turnout and I believe Outfit (Lee Adie's barrow), further awards and much respect being shown for Tom and Gwen Burnett, our Belgian hosts expressing their own desire to be riding well into retirement. We also heard at this point how badly the site owners had let down the rally organisers - i.e no decent hot food on site, no hard standing for the bikes, and they had had to send the band they booked home. El Paso management were holding another function at the same time and as such we would have to make do with the Band already installed.
To add insult to their injury the poor guys had no P.A. as promised to make these announcements, having to resort to shouting. Moving in to watch the band it became painfully obvious that the band had not been booked for this rally, entertained as we were to a mix of wrist slitting Blues and cowboy style dirges.** Later on we did manage to commandeer the disco though by now most of our group had gone to their tents. With the aid of Onno or maybe Onno with the aid of Kev (and one or two beers) managed to get the El Paso people running about a bit. We had discovered the woodpile and it did not take long to build the small welcoming brazier into a wooden town-threatening inferno. They actually posted a guard on the woodpile.
Sunday saw us all packing up for the journey back, and with the exception of getting soaked half an hour from home the ride was uneventful.
**The rally organisers did send a personal apology to Bexley TOMCC regarding the weekend and explaining all the areas that went wrong for them. Next year is going to be the 10th T-Days rally and I for one will be going.