It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single Triumph Owners' Club branch in possession of a good bank balance must be in need of a rally on which to spend it. This state of affairs became increasingly obvious to Lee and Gary last year so after doing some groundwork (no pun intended) regarding a possible site, the whole idea was put to a meeting of the branch committee and, several strong drinks later, it was agreed that after 20 years the branch ought to be capable of putting on a rally and making a good job of it into the bargain.
So prepare yourself for ballads of brave bog buffing, dramas of daring DJ-do, citations for courageous cooking, sagas of scorching sign-strappage and divers deep drinking descriptions. Nurse, the medication please!
The organising activities involved could fill a separate article but might make dull reading so let's just say that budgets were set, bands were booked and arrangements were made with the Old Elthamians Rugby Club who were such good hosts to other clubs' rallies and some of our own social evenings. Jobs were defined and taken on by individuals or teams so that the overall effort could hopefully be spread around more than just a handful of folks. A select few traders were contacted and lined up to set up shop over the weekend. Catering services were fixed up with Gary's niece Millie who runs a mobile van and Gary, Jackie and helpers made plans to cook up breakfasts on the Saturday and Sunday mornings. Dutchy and Chris Biggs volunteered for toilet and rubbish duty, Julie sorted out the production of t-shirts, key rings and badges including a special limited amount of red t-shirts for those people helping out over the weekend and Dave Warren made signs to go along the approach roads. Ian secured the loan of a caravan for the gate, unfazed by the problem that - until the last minute - it only had one wheel.
So preparations went smoothly enough but what of the all-important factor that can make or break a rally, but is effectively out of the organisers' control? (That's the weather of course.) The preceding week or so had not been awfully encouraging but when Friday dawned it was getting better and it mercifully stayed sunny and fine for all of Saturday and Sunday too.
Having volunteered to put up the road signs, I therefore ventured forth on a hot Friday morning with a stack of signs, a bag of extra long cable ties and only a Volvo and an aluminium stepladder for protection. I chose the locations carefully and learned a lot about unofficial sign erection: some do's and some don'ts, but mostly don'ts, like don't try and stop on the side of the A20 in the rush hour. I did find somewhere safer from which to launch proceedings and after a couple of hours plodding up and down the A20 and areas local to the rugby club with signs under one arm and a ladder under the other, the signs were up in the right places and even better I had not been arrested or run over. Then it was on to the site to watch other people get on with it. No, sorry that should read: help where I could. For me then Saturday was a rather mid-morning start but for Gary and Jackie no such luxuries were on offer despite Gary not having got much at all in the way of sleep overnight. Fortunately, they were assisted by Matt, Tracey and Mags so no-one went hungry and despite missing the main session, I got a late brekkie to perk me up, so much so that by no later than noon I was seriously considering joining the dozen or more bikes on the run to the Hop Farm.
The caravan was at the gate, having been brought down the night before and some of the traders were already set up at the comparatively early hour of 11 a.m. but they probably had a routine. The main club marquee was already up and we helped unload Lee's disco gear from his van then move tables and chairs around inside. The cricket pitch had been roped off to discourage impromptu burn-ups (squelch ups?), Dutchy was already on duty looking lively loo-wise and everything was coming together. Julie set up her regalia and merchandise stall near the club house under Gary's 21st century gazebo (you have to see it to know what I mean).
Communication with the check-in point was being maintained by two methods: two-way mini radios and Lee Sykes' latest ebay wonder, a two wheeled mini chopper. This little bike with a 50cc pull-start engine and one gear was badged as the "Rocket 1½" and to suggest the huge rear tyre of the actual Rocket III the mini bike actually had two rear wheels on the one axle. This made any tight turns rather more dependant on technique than usual, but with a top speed of only 15 m.p.h. (I did check) and no chance of taking it on the road it was just a bit of fun and plenty of people had a go!
Being still in possession of my car I took the first opportunity to get back home, hide the telltale ladder under the stairs and get my tent and bike out. Loaded up as if for a full weekend away I headed back to the site, where by mid-afternoon paying punters had already crossed the threshold and were looking for the outside water tap. There isn't one, I found as I tried to assist (those distinctive red shirts were a bright idea eh?), but a solution was found. H2
O I think it was - oh my aching sides.
Lee had set out the disco gear in the marquee facing the clubhouse terrace and was providing some great background sounds while people arrived. I put my tent up at a sensible distance from the clubhouse: not too far and not too close, especially as the proposed location of the bonfire was in between.
With everything apparently under control and Lee Sykes radioing the check-in point every time new arrivals hoved into view, it just a case of waiting for the surprise first musical entertainment of the day, in the shape of the Bexley Music Centre Calypso Band. Lee had seen them at a private birthday party and decided they'd be a good way to start proceedings on the Friday. They set up their steel drums and other instruments on the terrace and after a quick sound check they launched into a set of familiar tunes rendered in the calypso style. Some of the young musicians took turns on the (rather small) drum kit or percussion, swapping between numbers. What with the gradually setting sun and the full bar service it made for a very pleasant start to the evening. A while after they had finished, the main band Tumbling Dice arrived and began to set up inside. Another arrival was Chris Biggs with his new vehicular purchase, somewhat larger than Lee's. It's an American van fitted out as a camper deluxe with TV, stereo, electric wheelchair ramp and a rather thirsty V8 engine. By all accounts his was a comfy night. The uncomfortable bit happens at the petrol station!
Darkness (no, not the Darkness) fell and Tumbling Dice started their first set of rock covers. By this time the energetic pace had left its mark on me so I retired to my tent for an hour's snooze. Just as well as it turned out... Some time after eleven I was back in the waking world and catching the last of Tumbling Dice, after which Lee Sykes put the disco (which had been moved indoors earlier) back on.
By one o'clock he was more than willing to hand over to Gary so that he could get some much-needed and well-deserved kip. I found myself helping Gary rifle through the collection of CDs to find suitable tracks to augment his own selection and even attempt to satisfy the odd request. By half one Gary was also thinking of turning in, mindful (if belatedly) of his commitment to get up early to tackle the breakfasts. So that left a fall- back team of, well, me. I looked at the mixer and suddenly I was faced with more knobs than the leader of the opposition at Prime Minister's question time.
Sticking to a simple formula that avoided any challenging cross-fades or voice-overs I managed to keep the player thing playing and even worked out how to preview discs on the third and fourth decks. By three o'clock in the morning the numbers had thinned out and the bar had closed so my parting suggestion of "piss off back to your tents" seemed appropriate and was taken in good humour.
Saturday
Also lining up was the redoubtable Graham Ham who was gracing us with his presence and that of Daisy, his 1940's Speed Twin. The small matter of a faulty electrical "thingy" ('scuse my ignorance) was not deterring him as he had a spare battery. Unfortunately he found himself having to fit it before he could turn out on to the main road. That meant he took the direct route with some of the others rather than the scenic one which most of us enjoyed in the hot sun.
The scenic route went straight down the A20 but only as far as Farningham, after which we turned off into Eynsford and only later picked up the A20 briefly to get to the start of Seven Mile Lane. While bowling along the Lane I was surprised to see a familiar couple of bikes going the other way, the one behind trailing what looked very much like a cloud of two-stroke fumes. Quickly it came to me - that must be Chris and Kaye Moore on their way to the site, and surely enough when we got back later on there they were. Anyway having got on to the A26 we duly pitched up at the Hop Farm, found the bike parking and debated our options. Some folks wanted to sample the War and Peace show, which we knew in advance would be on, despite the heat, whereas others of a less adventurous, or thirstier and more fatigued, nature settled for a pint or two and some food in the adjoining pub. You can guess which option Graham and I plumped for but we were not alone by a long chalk.
Once our stomachs were suitably satisfied we set off back to the site in smaller groups and before long I was back at base where the silly games were reaching a successful conclusion with what I think was a "shouting louder than anyone else" contest. Graham was disappointed to have missed the "dizzy sticks" game as he reckoned to be a past master - or at least to know the best strategy. Maybe next year. By all reports the other silly games had gone well, except perhaps the "how long can you hold one brick up between two others" game which was adversely impacted when someone dropped and broke the all-important third brick.
To solve Graham's electrical dilemma, Chris Biggs had fetched from home his charger, to which Graham hooked up one his batteries to maximise his chance of getting home the next day. Still carrying plenty of charge though was Graham's digital camera with which he took a couple of group photos of all the "red shirts" who could be rounded up on the spot.
Also grappling with minor electrical problems at around the same time were the caterers who found by experience that there are only so many appliances in the kitchen that can be turned on at once before the consumer unit trips out. There was a nervous hiatus of a few minutes until Chris Biggs' experience was put to good use in finding the box of wires in question and the power was restored.
Soon there was more activity on the terrace as the first band for Saturday, Beats Workin', turned up. Kevin had booked them but the plans for how to get the main band, Wild Katz, set up while the first guys were playing had been left somewhat to chance. Fortunately the weather and the isolated position of the clubhouse worked in our favour so we could get Beats Workin' to play on the terrace. This worked very well and an appreciative audience enjoyed the last of the sunshine while they played some well- known rock numbers. Meanwhile inside the Wild Katz could set up and around the camping area our designated award judges looked at the bikes to find our prize- winners.
After the first band had finished the focus moved indoors. Sales of raffle tickets had been going well so it only seemed fair to draw some numbers and give out some prizes, which Lee duly did. Equally important were the concours awards which went to Patrick from Birmingham and Wolves for his immaculate Meriden Bonneville, Paul (also Birmingham and Wolves) for his equally spotless Hinckley Daytona and to Colin, a regular at the Pied Bull, for his showroom condition 70's Kawasaki 500 H1 triple. There were also prizes for the furthest travelled male and female riders, and I can only apologise for not remembering who they were!
In amongst all this activity there was a more serious moment as Lee and then Tank explained the background to why the rally was dedicated to the memory of Richard Cottrell and why all weekend a picture of Richard, a candle and a pint of Guinness had been positioned behind the bar. To conclude, Richard's partner Dianne stepped forward to present the first Richard Cottrell award to a club member who had done the most to support the branch in the preceding year. If you've already read the August Kickstart, I can only re-iterate my astonishment at hearing my name called and can only apologise for the garbled words of thanks that were all I could come up with on the night. The obvious next step was the take the commemorative tankard to the bar to get a pint of cold Guinness in it.
Hot on the heels of that excitement came the Wild Katz who delivered a driving set of rock'n'roll that was as distinctive as their 50's look. All too soon it was getting late and the fire outside was dying down. I took a quick turn on the DJ gear but by 1:30 p.m. people were drifting tent-wards.
Sunday
Sunday breakfast was again started by Gary and Jackie with assistance from Pete, Rose, Alison and Lee Adie. At least this time I wasn't nearly the last to get some but a fair amount of clearing up had already taken place around the site. I helped where I could before packing up my stuff and heading home to drop it off, leaving me free to call in at the Pied Bull for a drink or two with some of the others and to reflect on a job well done.
Many thanks must go to the bar staff at the Old Elthamians: Peter and Rhonda, as well as Peter the groundsman and Hugh Sylvester the manager. Thanks also to Ayd Crockford of Smart T's for supplying the t-shirts, key rings and badges.
There are almost too many Bexley members to thank by name but here's an attempt, with apologies to anyone who gets missed off:
By our reckoning we had 187 people camping and about another 50 who just came for the Saturday night. A check of the accounts indicates that we made a healthy profit of over £300. Equally importantly, the feedback we have had from friends and TOMCC regulars in other branches has been most complimentary.
With this encouraging information established, we have already arranged with the rugby club to do it all again next year so mark your diaries for Friday 22 July 2005!